no longer satisfied

So, I've been stuck between a rock and a hard place for what seems like forever. I've been trying to do it all on my own or none of it at all. I've put up this image of a "mega-Christian" who doesn't miss a single religious activity regardless of homework, sleep, or anything else pulling for my time. I've fallen into complacency and this annoying, blank emotionless state and an attitude overwhelmed by fear. And I decided I'm fed up with myself so much that I have the determination to face whatever God puts me through to and whatever it takes to overcome it. Tonight, Crusade was a time of sharing and prayer. I prayed a bold prayer that God would break me. Down to nothing. So I can start over as a piece of soft clay in my Potter's hands. To be a part of this revolution, changes have got to start within me. God's mercy is incomparable. His love indescribable. Grace is sufficient. I am ready to be renewed and revived. Repair relationships. EXPERIENCE JESUS.
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Kinda strange for my 100th post (hey, its kinda like a birthday!) but that's God's style sometimes.