the pursuit of our pursuing God

Fall Retreat 06. Hume Lake. October 27-29. Simply amazing. The location, the speaker, the worship, the presence of God, and the people. I got up there late due to class until 4, blah, and unfortunately missed the Friday night message. Everything else was wonderful. I got to lead a Dgroup which was a great change from processing. The timing was so perfect, that I could deal with things during our weekend away. PTL that I don't have a ton of homework. So, I am gonna jot down a few things that stuck out to me...

• Saturday am
• God has already initiated with us: thank goodness too. This is where I have been so frustrated with friendships. If I am always the one starting conversation and initiating hang out time, does this person really enjoy being with me? But God always extends Himself to us first. The perfect friend in every way. Yet, I look to friends and as humans they always disappoint. And I let them down. Alot.
• Acts 2:42-47
• Saturday pm
• Ephesians 6:23&24
• Revelation 2:1-7
• Does it matter to God if my heart beats a little bit faster when I think of Him? YES! And I pray that it would be so every moment of my entire life.
• 1 Corinthians 16:22
• Remember when you first learned the reality that God was pursuing you: Jim Elliot interview. Was God far away from you? Or were you far away from God?
• Repent. What is keeping you separated from God?
• Do the things you used to do when you felt the things you used to feel about Him.
• Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
  
• Women's time
• Hosea 2:14-17, 19&20
• Steals: us away from distractions. Allure. The God of the universe wants to spend quality one-on-one time with us.
• Reclaims: choose to call the Lord "my husband." He is so worthy of it.
• Restores: you shall know the Lord. The way a husband and wife know one another. Betrothed means to woe a virgin. But our hearts are far from pure and chaste. We are the brides of Jesus no matter our relationship status.
• Come broken and empty to find redemption.
• His love is eternal, jealous, and beyond worth it.
• Sunday am
• Our main purpose-impact the world and populate heaven.
• A witness gives a testimony for what they believe is true.
• Acts 8:26-38
• Look and pray for open doors. But watch out and get ready because God will answer.
• a successful witness takes the initiative by the power of the Holy Spirit and leaves the rest up to God.
• Isaiah 40:27-31

Basically, I learned a bunch straight from the heart of God. Some of the other things that weren't in the main message...
Kit spoke during women's time and gave us a chance to spread out and have some reflection time. I listed all the things preventing my restoration with God. Then wrote down everything that brings joy to my life. Sounds cheesy but it is such a release. Try it. I was so convicted about this one verse that I had to wonder, "Would I be able to say that my only identity is as a child of God?"
The chapel was decorated with posters that named pursuers of God. People such as Moses, Ruth, Paul Rahab, Caleb, Luke, Martha, David, Solomon, and the list goes on. But one poster had a big blank with (your name here). Wow.
We got to Skpe call the STINT team. The team put together a really cute video too. Makes me miss the campus and students so much. PTL that they are over there investing in eternity.God is doing big things.
Not really sure how to end this other than I really pray that my pursuit would be a moment by moment joy to serve my Creator.

ouch

Random phone call I got Friday night eating out with my parents...
"Hi, this is Kim."
"Hi, this is some guy from somewhere."
"Um, uh, hi?"
"I wanted to call about something or other..."
"I'm sorry. I'm confused."
"Wait. You don't work at the T.V. station?"
"No. I think you have the wrong number."
"Yeah. I think so too."
"Ok, sorry. Bye!"
Poor guy got the wrong number. Denied in a very round about way. Hopefully whoever it was did it on purpose. She better not be using the same fake number either. I don't really want to have all these random, confusing conversations regularly.
Especially after the drive I had. I stopped at the sketchiest gas station this side of the Mississippi. Ugh, those bikers. I wanted to karate chop them in half simply for the way they were looking at me. I guess this explains why I am a fan of HollaBack NYC. Although not exactly the safest conditions to snap their picture. That would probably have been the second worse decision of the night(right after actually stopping there instead of looking for another bathroom). Might have been the first time I wish I was traveling with an over-protective guy friend(a.k.a. a boyfriend). Oh well, God kept me safe. And He should keep me from contracting any strange diseases. That will NEVER happen again. blah.

lifetime goals

So I'm feeling a little inspiration and wanted to start one of those ongoing posts that I occasionally come back to edit. Lets start...

know Jesus. pray continually. read the Bible daily. go to church every Sunday. have kids. fall in love first. read every classic novel. see the world. learn to be more artistic. speak better. go backpacking. complain less. laugh more. learn to sing. learn to play guitar. learn something everyday. eat healthy. swim more. run more. enjoy the sunshine. get a dog. always have more than one cat. be spontaneous. climb a mountain.

Unashamed Love by Lamont Hiebert

You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place
Worthy, You are worthy

Of a childlike faith
Of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life
Of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love

I open up my heart and let my spirit worship yours
I open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth
Worthy, You are worthy

Of a childlike faith
Of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of my holy life
Of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love

backyard camping

So, yesterday I get home around 5:30 after being on the go since 9. I honestly felt like doing nothing for an hour, not socializing, not being anywhere, just sitting for a change with nothing on my mind or a place to rush off to. I got ready at a very slow pace. Got to the overnighter and definitely did not feel like mingling. Mingling is so difficult. Every conversation is so surfacy and is at such a high, perky level that it drains me really quickly. I ended up having some good conversations with people I never get the chance to spend time with. (I am beginning to think that my "love language" is quality time. But that is a different discussion for a different time and place.) I ended up having a really great time and even gave in to spending the night. I think I slept more and better camping than I would have at home. I am just glad that I can honestly look at my friends pictures and say, "Yes, I really was having a good time and that isn't a fake smile."
One other thing, we enjoyed a little p&w this morning, and I realized something. The love of Christ really does take my breath away and make me weak in the knees when I attempt to comprehend it and all those other emotions seen in chick flicks. Simply put, its good to be in love with Someone so wonderful as God of the universe.

giving it up to keep

Its hard to take a step back and realize what's going on in my head. Its everything that I can identify and warn against in other's lives but so hard to acknowledge in my own. So I have decided to back off a friendship to keep it. Backward thinking, I know, but the way I jump to conclusions, its the only safe route to go. Its frustrating not being able to be the one to initiate. My only responsibility is to protect my heart. Why is it such a disappointment though?

Heaven Forbid

heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright
-The Fray

spiders!

So I was just out on the couch chillin with a roomie eating my tangelo. Then this huge daddy-long-legs shows up on my paper towel. Needless to say, I freaked out and threw it on the floor. With my little shout of shock, our spazo dog starts barking at me. When I got up to get another paper towel to clean up my mess and spider remains, she practically attacked me. Growling and barking, the whole bit. I was already on edge with the spider's appearance so I kinda yelled at her. She probably hates me even more since I tripped on her in the hallway. It was an accident, seriously.
By the way, who does that happen to? A spider just drops on their lap. And I really wanted to finish the rest of that tangelo.

Isaiah 45:4-8

"And why have I called you for this work? It is for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one. I called you by name when you did not know me. I am the LORD; there is no other God. I am the Lord; there is no other God. I have prepared you, even though you did not know me, so all the workd from east to west will know there is no other God. I am the LORD, and there is no other. I am the one who creates the light and makes the darkness. I am the one who sends good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things. Open up, O heavens, and pour out your righteousness. Let the earth open wide so salvation and righteousness can sprout up together. I, the LORD, created them."

Hosea 14:4-7

"The Lord says, "Then I will heal you of your idolatry and faithlessness, and my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever! I will be to Israel like a refreshing dew from heaven. It will blossom like the lily; it will send roots deep into the soil like the cedars of Lebanon. Its branches will spread out like those of beautiful olive trees, as fragrant as the forest cedars of Lebanon. My people will return again to the saftey of their land. They will flourish like grain and blossom like grapevines. They will be as fragrant as the wines of Lebanon."

is this really how it goes?

So I was just at a vision/planning meeting, and we were discussing the topic of discipleship. One of the comments was about past disciplees and how they are married and having kids. Which I all really admire and am grateful for. But the part where I struggle is...is this how we really measure accomplishment? By getting a MRS degree and popping out a few kids? Don't get me wrong. I understand that this will most likely happen to me too. But I see in myself so much more potential than that. What about ministering in the workplace and volunteering at church for the still-young-single past disciplees? They have nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be looked down upon because they aren't currently in THE relationship. Again, I know I will find myself there. So I guess I am still battling this concept of women and marriage and work and God and church. Its all there in my head. Just jumbled and frustrated I guess. Trust me its all there, I've been getting it from all angles. Boundless articles. Song of Solomon lesson at church. I should really just accept it and move on. I am hoping this is all bringing me closer to God rather than search for a relationship which isn't developing.
PS- This is the first time I've been home all day since leaving for church at 8:15. Got lots accomplished though. I hope.