This afternoon was so amazing. We showed up at this Crusade tea for women. I felt really undressed since all the girls were fancy. But the staff who shared was just amazing. The things I've been dealing with since starting the Bible study Believing God she just managed to hit on the head. It's so reassuring to hear how others, that I tend to look up to, deal with the same issues and how we can provide encouragement and accountabiltity for one another. She shared about overcoming perfectionism(yeah, big time) and being a people pleaser(guilty again) and turning God/faith into a checklist(YES). Just the way she shared the truths God showed her over the summer felt like she was explaining the point I have reached in my walk. For example, not asking God for anything I couldn't handle. So just in case God didn't show for whatever reason, it would be taken care of, by me, not God. So then doesn't that mean I'm not relying on God? And the fact of not taking risks. I won't try new things because if I end up not being good or successful, then I'm not perfect, so I'm just stuck in this routine. I have such a long way to go in developing true faith. I'm afraid of what I need to leave behind but faithful enough to be excited because I know God has so much more that I could imagine.
