Sunday, April 30, 2006
there is hope
I believe. Its two and two. Kings and Spurs that is. Its best out of three now. And Kings are gaining momentum. I will keep the faith alive.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Psalm 19:12-13
"How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin."
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
21 lessons for life
1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs......lasts.
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming....not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong.....don't go with the flow.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs......lasts.
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming....not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong.....don't go with the flow.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Inadequacy is not a disqualifier but a prerequisite.
Isn't that the hardest thing to believe? It has been, as of late, for me. It needs to become truth in my life and faith because its what God says to me.
So many times lately I have wanted to let my emotions break out and scream at the top of my lungs, "I am unworthy. Do you realize what you are doing?" But I remain cool, calm, and collected on the outside while I do battle with myself on the inside. And God responds, "I AM THE CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. DON'T YOU REALIZE I ORDAINED THIS MOMENT BEFORE TIME BEGAN?" So I fall silent yet conflicted.
Am I the only one that has second doubts about making such a decision? Sure doesn't seem like it. Maybe I'm the only one that had any first doubts.
By the end of our meeting tonight I just wanted to leave and go running. Somewhere. In solitude. Isn't it unusual that I am comfortable with silence and prefer seclusion? I mean that should be a warning sign for this type of thing.
But then I think of all the times that I have stepped beyond my comfort zone, reached out with that outgoing and rambuctious person inside me, had a blast, and totally developed a new aspect of my faith. The list is getting pretty long now. And I haven't had any regrets. So I guess this means I need to be willing and make myself available. No matter the cost, the outcome is so much better.
I suppose the thing that intimidates me the most is where God is leading me with these opportunities. You see, I've made these hypothetical plans for my life and now understand He might have something different in mind. Which is all good just uncertain when I'm not in control.
And why me anyways? I'm not looking for praise or an ego rub, just honestly, I can't compare to the other great people of faith that surround me. I see them and feel God emitted through their very being. They are excellent role models and simply put together overall. Nothing about my personality or character can even fulfill those qualities.
God, transform me to the place of willingness and equip me with your power and grace just sufficient enough to get me by moment by moment.
So many times lately I have wanted to let my emotions break out and scream at the top of my lungs, "I am unworthy. Do you realize what you are doing?" But I remain cool, calm, and collected on the outside while I do battle with myself on the inside. And God responds, "I AM THE CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. DON'T YOU REALIZE I ORDAINED THIS MOMENT BEFORE TIME BEGAN?" So I fall silent yet conflicted.
Am I the only one that has second doubts about making such a decision? Sure doesn't seem like it. Maybe I'm the only one that had any first doubts.
By the end of our meeting tonight I just wanted to leave and go running. Somewhere. In solitude. Isn't it unusual that I am comfortable with silence and prefer seclusion? I mean that should be a warning sign for this type of thing.
But then I think of all the times that I have stepped beyond my comfort zone, reached out with that outgoing and rambuctious person inside me, had a blast, and totally developed a new aspect of my faith. The list is getting pretty long now. And I haven't had any regrets. So I guess this means I need to be willing and make myself available. No matter the cost, the outcome is so much better.
I suppose the thing that intimidates me the most is where God is leading me with these opportunities. You see, I've made these hypothetical plans for my life and now understand He might have something different in mind. Which is all good just uncertain when I'm not in control.
And why me anyways? I'm not looking for praise or an ego rub, just honestly, I can't compare to the other great people of faith that surround me. I see them and feel God emitted through their very being. They are excellent role models and simply put together overall. Nothing about my personality or character can even fulfill those qualities.
God, transform me to the place of willingness and equip me with your power and grace just sufficient enough to get me by moment by moment.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
what did I get myself into?
So Sunday night I remembered that "intent to run" forms were due for swe elections. I emailed it to the prez about one in the morning. I just jotted down a few positions that looked interesting like major chair, sustainability director, and publications director. Showed up at the meeting tonight and discovered that publications director was an elected position rather than appointed, and I was running unopposed. So, I introduced myself and was voted in. Whoa. Not really sure what I have managed to get myself into. Meeting newletters and bulletin boards. At least it will look good on a resume right? I guess that's the wrong attitude to have since I really do like graphics and design layout. Like yearbook!
Monday, April 17, 2006
"A Cat's Guide to Human Beings"
1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?
So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures.There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.
What's so great about humans anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:
THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations, and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans, and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.
2. How and When to Get Your Human's Attention
Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediateneeds, such as conducting business, spending time with their families, or even sleeping.
Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice.
Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want:
Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it assumes the paper is more important than you. It will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys, and small children.
Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's "golden time" is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention; remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious.
3. Punishing Your Human Being
Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire; the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives:
* Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.
* Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.
* Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack.
* After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling.
* While your human is sleeping, lie on its face.
4. Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?
The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disembowelled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they've been presented.
After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend the following: cold-blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes, and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm-blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbour's Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the expression on your human's face, you'll know it's worth it.
5. How Long Should You Keep Your Human?
You are obligated to your human for only one of your lives. The other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They're humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will take you only so far.
So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures.There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.
What's so great about humans anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:
THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations, and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans, and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.
2. How and When to Get Your Human's Attention
Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediateneeds, such as conducting business, spending time with their families, or even sleeping.
Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice.
Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want:
Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it assumes the paper is more important than you. It will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys, and small children.
Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's "golden time" is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention; remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious.
3. Punishing Your Human Being
Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire; the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives:
* Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.
* Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.
* Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack.
* After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling.
* While your human is sleeping, lie on its face.
4. Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?
The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disembowelled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they've been presented.
After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend the following: cold-blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes, and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm-blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbour's Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the expression on your human's face, you'll know it's worth it.
5. How Long Should You Keep Your Human?
You are obligated to your human for only one of your lives. The other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They're humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will take you only so far.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
pathetic
Why do I never take advantage of opportunities? And the few times I do, its filled with uncertainity and self-doubt.
Why do I never let others see the real me beyond me? I can never open up and truly be myself. I hate myself for not taking the chance to bond with friends. I just chicken out when revealing the person underneath my carefully mastered disguise.
Emotions frighten me probably more than anything else in the world. Why? Because it means being open, real, honest, human. It means experiencing life firsthand, being clumsy, acting funny, loving randomness.
I want to face the challenges before me but am so intimidated by failure that at times I would rather back down and remain appearing to be perfect.
Why do I never let others see the real me beyond me? I can never open up and truly be myself. I hate myself for not taking the chance to bond with friends. I just chicken out when revealing the person underneath my carefully mastered disguise.
Emotions frighten me probably more than anything else in the world. Why? Because it means being open, real, honest, human. It means experiencing life firsthand, being clumsy, acting funny, loving randomness.
I want to face the challenges before me but am so intimidated by failure that at times I would rather back down and remain appearing to be perfect.
Friday, April 14, 2006
OEX day!
Its been a hectic day. Started off with waking up from my "nap" at six to finish ce homework and bust out a lame resume in fifteen minutes. Off to morning prayer which is such an uplifting blessing. My friend and I had a good chat on the way back to class too. About how awesome it is to hear guys pray because it is one of the few times they are totally honest and real. Their faith and love for God just becomes so evident. And how cool it is to see the different aspect of God's character in their personalities. It is actually like getting a glimpse of Christ from our brothers and sisters. So class was just mundane, and I got absolutely no homework done. Project dinner was so much fun though. We had burritos, yum. (Plus, I think its difficult to feed seventeen people at once.) And played this crazy ice breaker game that lasted for over an hour. We were supposed to choose three different Easter colored mini candy bars. Then found out that each color had a story to it. Pink, most embarrassing moment(by far, the best stories too). Green, favorite family vacation memory. Blue, hobby(kinda out of place but still good). Gold, something about our family. The guys had the craziest stories for everything. I think girls tend to block out embarrassing moments, but guys like to laugh about them over and over again. So this team definitely has personality and flavor to it. Some of the stories that were shared I was amazed that they had been willing to let anyone know that because it truly is embarrassing. I had a pink and two blues. So, I basically told about my chair getting yanked in freshmen english class which I think the story is more funny to myself, but it went over well. The best part though was when I introduced myself, this group of about six guys went, "Hi, Kim!" It scared me but it was the funniest thing ever. Another embarrassing moment. I'm afraid they are already picking on me, but its all good. I had a great time and can't wait to spend my summer in service with this extraordinary group of people.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
this is what I'm talkin about
Jim Elliot's little robot that could
"Ten percent of the Jim Elliot Christian High School student body will be in Atlanta April 27-29 - and it won't be to attend a Bible Belt youth revival.The Lodi school's 20-member robotics team - in only its second year of competition - won the regional FIRST Robotics Competition at the University of California, Davis, last month to earn the right to compete at the national level.
Jim Elliot defeated 40 other high schools for the honor, advancing from 36th place to first in a dramatic, come-from-behind final round.
The team's creation is Thumper, a 6-foot-tall, remote-controlled robot designed to shoot foam basketballs.
The school on Lower Sacramento Road was the smallest in the competition with just 200 students.
But Jim Elliot's team was big on brains."
-The Record
http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060411/OPED01/604110314
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
what am I supposed to think?
When someone calls you to say, "Can we hang out sometime this week?" Followed up with, "Its nothing scary! I promise!" What does that mean?
Monday, April 10, 2006
2 Corinthians 11:2-3
"I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. For I promised you as a pure bride to one husband, Christ. But I fear that somehow you will be led away from your pure and simple devotion to Christ, just as Eve was deceived by the serpent."
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
sunshine
wow. Crusade was amazing tonight. Recently, I've been thinking about the fact that I have really good, close friends new and old and then lots of new acquaintence-stage friends. But not thinking about the number of people. Concerned about the fact that I've never really opened up to ANYONE of them. No testimony, no life story. First off, I realize that I am definitely not the emotional type and do not express any kind of feeling in any form. Basically, that's me although its not always good. So I was kind of upset with myself for not letting anyone understand me and where I've been. This is the part where Crusade comes in.
"Go back to your home, and tell all that God has done for you."
Luke 8:39a
This was the main point of the message. So, we broke into small groups and shared. It felt incredible to just open up with complete strangers and at least have someone know my background.
Besides that, I am in such a better mood since the sun came out. I was getting depressed from all the rain and clouds. I mean the last time the sun was out was Saturday. And it stays sunny way late. Its awesome. Thank goodness for daylight savings.
Monday, April 03, 2006
its only week 2
I'm already so stressed. I stayed up to do physics last night which turned out to not be due. bummer. But it gave me a chance to go to office hours even though I still don't understand. oh well. I need to do strength of materials homework so I can take questions to office hours tomorrow. But my brain isn't working, and there is alot. I still have a memo to write too. Already so far behind. And tired. I did get in-n-out for dinner which probably made my day. My newest distraction is flickr. I can't believe I upgraded. What a scam. And I gave in too. Spineless I'm telling you. Or emerging photo artist. Yeah right. Well to finish off this randomness...rain, rain go away.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
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